Monday, 4 August 2014

GETTING MARRIED IN HEAVEN



On their way to get married, a young Catholic couple is involved in a fatal car accident. The couple find themselves sitting outside the Pearly Gates waiting for St. Peter to process them into Heaven. While waiting, they begin to wonder: Could they possibly get married in Heaven? When St. Peter showed up, they asked him.

St. Peter said, "I don't know. This is the first time anyone has asked. Let me go find out."

The couple sat and waited, and waited. Two months passed and the couple are still waiting. While waiting, they began to wonder what would happen if it didn't work out; could you get a divorce in heaven. After yet another month, St. Peter finally returns, looking somewhat bedraggled.

"Yes," he informs the couple. "You can get married in Heaven!"

"Great! But we were just wondering, what if things don't work out? Could we also get a divorce in Heaven?"

St. Peter, red-faced with anger, slammed his clipboard onto the ground.

"What's wrong?" asked the frightened couple.

"OH, COME ON!", St. Peter shouted, "It took me three months to find a priest up here! Do you have any idea how long it'll take me to find a lawyer?"


Read more at http://www.sunnyskyz.com/funny-jokes/87/Getting-Married-In-Heaven#DhqDRBYUahRGMHcM.99

CHINA EARTHQUAKE KILLS HUNDREDS IN YUNNAN PROVINCE

At least 367 people have been killed and some 1,300 injured by a magnitude 6.1 earthquake in south-west China, state news agency Xinhua says. The US Geological Survey said the quake struck about 11km (seven miles) north-west of Wenping in Yunnan province at 16:30 local time (08:30 GMT).A major rescue and relief operation is under way. State broadcaster CCTV said the earthquake was the strongest to hit the province in 14 years. The USGS said the quake struck at a depth of about 10km in a remote mountainous area in Yunnan province. The tremor was also felt in the neighbouring provinces of Guizhou and Sichuan. Chinese state broadcaster footage shows the moment the earthquake strikes. Xinhua said about 12,000 homes had collapsed in Ludian, a county of some 439,000 people, north-east of Yunnan province's capital, Kunming. All of the casualties reported so far are in Qiaojia County of the Zhaotong region, which appeared to be the hardest hit.Ma Liya, a resident of Zhaotong, told Xinhua that the streets there were like "battlefield after bombardment", adding her neighbour's house, a new two-storey building, had collapsed. The government is sending 2,000 tents, 3,000 folding beds, 3,000 quilts and 3,000 coats to the disaster zone, the report said.

After initial reports of a death toll of 26, the numbers of casualties rose sharply, passing 150 before Xinhua reported a figure of 367 killed. The news agency says the epicentre of the earthquake was in Longtoushan in Yunnan's Ludian county.Chen Guoyong, the head of Longtoushan township, told Xinhua that many houses had fallen and rescuers had been sent to the epicentre.

Many people rushed out of buildings onto the street after the quake hit, electricity supplies were cut and at least one school collapsed, Xinhua reports. Communications have also been seriously affected.

South-west China lies in an area that is prone to earthquakes. An earthquake in Sichuan in 2008 killed tens of thousands of people. And in 1970, a magnitude 7.7 quake in Yunnan killed at least 15,000 people.

EBOLA: FG , LAGOS DELEGATIONS VISITS PROPHET T.B JOSHUA TO AVERT SPREAD

As part of efforts to prevent spread of the
deadly Ebola virus disease into the country, a
federal government and Lagos State health
delegation yesterday visited the General
Overseer of the Synagogue Church of All
Nations, Prophet Temitope Joshua, to
explore ways of averting the spread of the
epidemic in the country.
In the meeting with the cleric, the delegation
led by the Lagos State Commissioner for
Health, Dr. Jide Idris, offered to work with the
health team of the church in the areas of
technical assistance, medical advice and
training to ensure that no victim of the deadly
disease came to the church from any of the
affected countries undetected.
Idris said the delegation decided to pay the
visit to the church because of the recognition
that the church is an International Christian
Centre whose congregation comprise people
from all over the world, including the
countries of the West African sub-region
where the Ebola disease is presently ravaging
the populations.
He said the visit is one governments strategy
of sensitizing faith-based organizations on
the need to cooperate with the government
to prevent the spread of the disease in the
country, by educating their adherents to
report health issues to medical experts.
The commissioner explained that the federal
and the Lagos State government are working
hard on how to prevent a spread of the vi rus
into the country
Idris said the delegation felt that because the
church had some people from the West
African sub-region as members and because
of the influx and population of the
congregation there might be need to check
and also raise the awareness level on the
disease in the church.
He said, We have our strategies that we
intend to share with you. Again we need to
know the resources you have here because
whether it is one or two cases, if they are
allowed to get out, it is a major problem. We
are here to work together on how to contain
this disease.
Also speaking, the director, Centre for
Disease Control, Professor Abdulsalami
Nasidi, said that the visit was to inform the
Synagogue leader of the deadliness of the
Ebola virus and to ensure that it does not
escape into the country.
He added that it had become such a big
problem in the sub-region that it was already
affecting the economies of the countries
involved.
Nasidi, an epidemiologist and virologist,
described the visit as a positive engagement
mission. We are here to engage you
positively. We know the powers of this House
and your powers and we are duty-bound to
protect you and your congregation, he said.
He particularly singled out the countries of
the West African sub-Region Liberia, Sierra-
Leone and Guinea as the greatest worry of
the Government at the moment because they
are the countries that have already been
affected by the deadly disease.
In his response, Prophet Temitope Joshua
promised to work with the government to
ensure that the disease did not spread into
the country.
The cleric revered for his healing powers said
he would put some measures in place to
ensure that people from the already affected
countries do not enter Nigeria.
One of such measures, he said, is to visit any
of the countries when necessary rather than
allow their residents come into Nigeria.
He also promised to suspend some of his
major Church healing programmes for a few
weeks adding, I am ready to work with you. I
love my country and I will be ready to work
with you. Even if it is a rumour, there is need
to secure our environment to ensure that it is
safe.

MANCHESTER UNITED TO USE CAMERA TO TRACK PLAYERS

Hi-tech cameras have been brought in at
Manchester United’s Carrington training
ground as new boss Louis van Gaal closely
monitors players.
Video analysis has been a key part of the
club’s summer tour to the Unites States, said
defender Jonny Evans.
“I think it is a lot more detailed at the training
ground,” he said.
“They have spent thousands on it and a few
of the lads have seen HD cameras around the
pitch. We have this system where he can
watch us on the pitch.”
Former Netherlands coach Van Gaal was
appointed as successor to David Moyes in
May after a disappointing first season for
United following Sir Alex Ferguson’s
retirement, in which the club finished seventh
in the Premier League.
He officially took charge last month after
leading his country to third place at the
World Cup, but has already introduced
several changes.
The Dutchman has ordered his players to
speak in English to each other, rectangular
tables have been replaced by circular ones at
meal times to encourage conversation and
the 62-year-old has implemented double
training sessions.
Evans, 26, said Van Gaal was using the filming
to give players detailed feedback on areas
such as positioning on the pitch.
“I think a lot of teams use it but we are
looking into it in quite a lot of detail,” said the
Northern Ireland centre-back.
“He is saying ‘you should be five yards to the
right’, we are able to see things that are
happening live on the pitch.
“That kind of scrutiny is new to every single
player. The case before was that as long as
we got the results everything was fine.
“David Moyes would have looked at videos a
lot so we got a bit of that from last year.” But
he added now “we are looking at things in
detail”.

ABA: MAD WOMAN STONES HER BABY TO DEATH AFTER GIVING BIRTH TO TWINS

A young mentally challenged woman caused
a stir in Aba, Abia State at the weekend when
she gave birth to a set of female twins on a
heap of refuse and stoned one to death be­
fore the police were invited.
It was gathered that an unknown person
impregnated the woman, in her mid 20s and
whose name could not be ascertained as at
press time, late last year.
Sources told Daily Sun that in the wee hours
of Saturday, she gave birth to two girls
without any assistance on top of a heap of
garbage close to an AGIP filling station at
Alaoji, along the Ikot Ekpene Road, near Aba.
It was gathered that after giving birth to the
babies, the insane woman fell asleep and
when one of the babies started crying, she
woke up used a stone she found within the
place to hit her and the child died before she
could be rescued.
Sensing that the life of the second baby could
also be in danger, residents of the area
alerted the police and the Divisional Police
Officer (DPO) for Ogbor Hill Division, Mrs.
Helen Nze, was said to have led a team of
policemen to the refuse dump.
The police rushed the baby that was still alive
to a private hospital, where she was cleaned
and given medication, and deposited the
dead one in a mortuary.
Checks by Daily Sun revealed that police
might have concluded plans to hand over the
baby to the Welfare Department of Aba South
Local Government after the necessary
documentations because of the inherent
danger in allowing the baby to stay with her
mother.

Sunday, 3 August 2014

SUNDAY'S IN-DEPTH FORECAST FOR TODAY AND BEYOND IN ENGLAND



SETTING THE SCENE...

It's official! Last month overall was drier and sunnier than usual for July, and after a brief interlude of heavy rain things look like quietening down again a little.

The area of low pressure which brought the weekend's thundery downpours is now spiralling away northwards across Scotland.

Low pressure remains to the north during the first part of the new week, but a ridge of pressure is trying to build in from the south, so good news if you're lucky enough to be on a Bank Holiday on Monday - it should be much better than Sunday!

Drier and brighter for the first part of the coming week, but still a little unsettled. Temperatures on the warm side of average.

In more detail then...

SUNDAY

Rather cloudy and still some outbreaks of rain around, mainly over Dumfries and Galloway. Heavy at times, especially in the west, but turning more showery through the afternoon. Breezy and blustery in the west.

Temperatures further west around 16-17c, but nearer 18-19c in the best of any sun further east.

SUNDAY NIGHT

We still expect some showers overnight. Rain over Ireland swings up across the Border region, so it will be cloudy and mild with some outbreaks of rain. Nothing especially heavy, and mainly in the west and over hills. Lows 12-13c, 54-55f.

BANK HOLIDAY MONDAY (SCOTLAND)

Dry on Monday morning, best of any brighter breaks to the east. Winds not as blustery as Sunday. Continuing dry and bright into the afternoon with more sunshine, best of the sun across the Isle of Man and through Cumbria, tops 18-19c, 64-66f.

Feeling better overall, with more sunshine and less wind. The best day of the Scottish Bank Holiday weekend!

WEATHER OUTLOOK: for the Border region.

OUTLOOK

Generally, sunshine and showers.

Odd well scattered shower on Tuesday, especially in the west. Drier and brighter further east. Heavier showers possible on Wednesday, some thundery. Sun and showers on Thursday. Temperatures maybe just above average in the low 20's celsius. Warm nights.

                                                                                                            -Source: ITV

GOSPEL SINGER: DONNIE McCKLURKLIN HAS A WARNING FOR PEOPLE WHO ASPIRE TO BE IN THE MUSIC INDUSTRY



Pastor Donnie McClurkin has Grammys, NAACP Awards and the fame that comes with being on top of the gospel music game, but the singer and "Sunday Best" judge has a warning for people who want to get into the gospel music industry.




McClurkin, the 54-year-old pastor of Perfecting Faith Church in Freeport, N.Y., blesses people with his singing voice away from the pulpit. While he has been a leading voice in gospel music with a career that spans almost 20 years, McClurkin has a warning for people who believe they can be the next platinum selling artist in gospel music.

"If you want to do it to get into the industry, don't do it. If you want to do it because you feel like you're a gospel singer, don't," McClurkin told The Christian Post. "It's got to be something that God has ordained because although it looks good from the outside looking in and although we bless so many people around the world with our music, inside of this gospel music world it's not easy."

The renowned singer is one of the best selling in the gospel music industry and has garnered three Grammy Awards, 13 Stellar Awards, Dove and NAACP Awards. Still he explained why he would not advise just anybody interested in being the next gospel music star to attempt to follow in his footsteps.

"There's so much work that goes behind this and if you're not called by God to do it, you'll mess this thing up. Because pride won't let you say 'I'm not called to' once you start," McClurkin told CP. "Once you start, you're going to keep on trying because you don't ever want to show that you were in the wrong and that you didn't hear from God. You've got to make sure that this is God and you've got to make sure that He called you to do it."

Still, McClurkin feels it is important to help usher in the new generation of gospel musicians and has served as a judge on BET's "Sunday Best" since 2010 to make that happen.

"It's adding so much to the gospel music industry. We've got Crystal Aiken, we've got Y'Anna Crawley, Le'Andria Johnson, Amber Bullock and the list goes on that would've never been heard or seen, at least we don't think so," McClurkin told CP. "But what we do know is Sunday Best gave them that platform. For people like Jessica Reedy and Maurice Griffin and the list goes on..all of that's happened because 'Sunday Best' decided that it was going to really deal with the anointed singers, the gifted singers and give them a national and international platform on BET."

The seasoned singer could not help but sing the praises of the contestants featured on the BET show each week.

"What you see on 'Sunday Best' most people in secular music cannot do," McClurkin insisted. "You cannot get on one stage with only one or two rehearsals and give that kind of performance every single week."

While McClurkin is excited to see the caliber of singers that come on the show season after season, fans of the show know that he will not hold back in his critiques.

"If you stand up in front of a person to be critiqued and they tell you the truth then people say you're being mean and you're hurting their feelings," he told CP. "There are some times people stand on that circle and they have no business being there, and so you tell them point blankly, 'absolutely not.' You would rather them go home then try to sugarcoat something and have them keep doing something that they weren't called to do."

"A few weeks ago on 'Sunday Best' a young guy by the name of Drew Chambers went home and it broke my heart because the guy is a phenomenal singer," McClurkin told CP. "So I called him up and said 'Fred Hammond and I are going on tour this Fall, I want you to come with me.' And that makes up for the hurt that came from having to release him from the show."Still, it isn't always easy watching talented contestants having to go home because of low scores. McClurkin has proven that he does care about all contestants, not just who wins the televised music competition and even recently invited one on tour with him.

The singer was an Essence Music Festival host last month to honor fellow singer Yolanda Adams, who he jokes about wanting to marry, has a tour coming in the fall, serves as resident judge on "Sunday Best," senior pastor at his church and is getting a new record label off of the ground while flying around the world to spread the gospel. However instead of complaining about being spread too thin, McClurkin is praising God for His grace.

"The definition of grace is the supernatural ability to do what you cannot do in the natural and God graces us to do what He's called us to do," he told CP. "He put just enough hours in a day, just enough days in a week and just enough weeks in a month for us to accomplish things."

McClurkin also credits the team of people that work together with him and not just for him, so that he can accomplish great things for God's kingdom. He insists that being obedient to God helps him succeed while taking on so many things.

"There are many things that come in that are high visibility that are not right for me to take, or not the time for me to take because it would take away from what I'm trying to do," McClurkin revealed. "There are many things that come in that would interrupt what I have on my schedule. They may seem to be greater in quality but because it is the call of God I've got to say no to."

The singer and pastor went on to give an example of some scenarios that he has to face.

"There may be a call for me to go to Africa but a church could have 600 members that I promised I was coming," McClurking said. "I've got to tell Africa which is much more lucrative I can't come because this is what God committed me to and then God compensates you for your obedience to Him."